The True Cost of Adoption: What You Need to Know

You’ve been thinking about it forever. You’ve seen the numbers. You can’t ignore God’s heart clearly communicated in Scripture over and over and over again. You’ve watched countless YouTube videos about the joy of bringing a new little one home, and when that inspirational music track hits, you start to tear up. Every. Single. Time. Must be allergies or something.

But there’s something that is nagging at you. How much exactly does it cost to adopt a child? How are you and your family going to afford all of this? There’s so much information out there that it can be hard to understand the true cost of adoption and how it will impact your next steps.

But even with those unanswered questions about how to afford it all, you know God has called you to this. Through the waiting, through the doubting, through the questioning. Maybe He’s even walked with you through the valley of infertility. Through it all, He’s been faithful to lead you to this moment. Now He’s just asking you to step out and say “yes” to adoption.

And you take that leap. You attend that meeting. You ask those questions. You send that interest email…and *shock* someone replies back and wants to start the process with you. Eeek!

Except now that you’ve said yes, it’s starting to feel much more real, isn’t it? Maybe the reality and heaviness of it all is hitting you all at once and that’s why it’s really important to prepare well.

Preparing Your Heart, Home, and Finances for Adoption

Trust me, I get it. My wife and I were right where you are right now. If you’re anything like us, you might thrive on information. The more we could educate ourselves on the process and what was potentially ahead of us, the more we were able to walk in God’s wisdom for the days of waiting for our little girl to come home. We want to help you think through what that might look like for your family so you’re in a good place by shining a light on the true cost of adoption that you’ll want to consider.

[But can I give a spoiler alert ahead of time? It’s going to be ok. Because it’s easy? No. Because it’s always a straight path from match to finalization? Definitely not. Because it’s free from conflict and grief and potential heartache? Nope. But because we know the One who was before and is ahead of this incredible story that He’s writing through your family, and He who began this good work in you will continue it until completion (Philippians 1:6). He’s that good and that faithful. Trust me.]

Adoption matters way, way too much to approach lightly. My hope is that we can provide a realistic, transparent guide to the landscape of adoption, covering not just the price tags but also the often-overlooked “hidden” costs, and the strategies to make it more accessible. Alongside the emotional investment you’ll be making, there is a significant financial one as well. But as JT, our founder here at Both Hands often says, “What’s wrong with using a life savings to save a life?”

Choose Your Own Adventure

Did you ever read those Choose Your Own Adventure books when you were growing up? You had to make a ton of decisions with each leading you down a different path, filled with its own adventures that were unique to that journey. That’s quite a power trip for a fourth grader.

Adoption can often feel like that too. One decision sets you down a certain path, but with even more decisions to be made, except in this case, they have very real and very profound ramifications on the rest of your life. (But no big pressure or anything.)

Let’s consider a few different adoption “adventures” your family could choose from…

(Pardon the interruption, but a quick note before we begin. While this post focuses on domestic and international adoption, it’s also worth mentioning that many children in the U.S. foster care system are waiting for safe, loving families. The primary goal of foster care is reunification with the child’s biological family, but in some cases, adoption becomes possible when that’s no longer an option. The financial considerations for these situations are quite different, as many of the costs are covered by the state. If you’d like to learn more, reach out to your local Department of Children’s Services.)

Domestic Private Agency Adoption

In our own experience of working with families going through the domestic adoption process here at Both Hands, we’ve seen these types of adoption have a typical cost of anywhere between $20,000 and $60,000 (or even more in some cases, like sibling group adoptions). That’s a significant amount of money to be sure. But why is adoption so expensive? 

There are very real, legitimate reasons why the total fees can add up so quickly and why an adoption can seem to cost so much. Here’s just a few reasons why…

Home Study Fees

Regardless of what adoption adventure you and your family choose, you’ll have to have a completed home study before you can even think about moving forward with the other steps in your adoption process. A home study is an extensive report, usually written by a licensed social worker, that explores your family’s background, daily life, motivation for adoption, financial standing, and more. A successfully completed home study is an endorsement of your family that you are fit to adopt, and is required by adoption agencies, courts, and other government entities for continuing on in the adoption process.

While the exact contents of your home study can vary slightly by state or agency, most will include a series of individual and couple interviews, house tours, observation of any of your other children already living in your home, background checks, medical exams, fingerprinting, criminal record checks with local and federal agencies, personal biographies of each spouse, and personal/professional/church references. Depending on the agency you’re working with, they may require additional training, either online or in person (in our case, it was both, so some additional travel costs to get to the in-person training were something we had to consider).

The total cost of your initial home study can run anywhere between $1,000 and $3,000, while renewing your home study can cost between $400 and $2,000, all depending on the specific details of your process.

Adoption Agency Fees

Adoption agencies are made up of qualified professionals who bring their years of experience in the social work and child welfare fields to help facilitate the many steps of your adoption process, including onboarding, training, home study interviews and final report writing, ongoing coaching, post-placement observations, and more. A large portion of the “agency fees” you’ll see on your fee schedule goes towards the immense work these social work professionals do for every adoption scenario.

Our family is a little biased, but we were so very thankful for our incredible social workers we were paired with, especially one in particular who conducted our home study, served our birth mom with the love of Christ, and advocated for our daughter before we were matched with her (literally sitting at her NICU bedside and being in on all the medical team updates–social workers are seriously heroes with clipboards).

Adoption Consultant Fees

An adoption consultant is kind of like a guide or coach for families who want to adopt but aren’t sure where to start. If you haven’t already noticed, adoption can be a complicated maze with lots of options and with every state and country having different rules and processes, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. A consultant’s job is to walk alongside hopeful adoptive parents, explain the landscape, and help them make informed choices.

Consultants don’t place children like an agency does, and they are not equipped to handle the legal work required to finalize an adoption that an adoption attorney would. Instead, they act as an advisor, educator, and support person. Through their connections with multiple adoption agencies, consultants can advocate for your family across multiple birth mom cases represented across agencies, often giving you a better chance at matching with a child faster.

Depending on how much help you want from your adoption consultant and the unique circumstances of your adoption, partnering with an adoption consultant can add between $2,000 and $5,000 (or more) to your overall adoption budget. While certainly not a required step in your adoption journey, many families have found that partnering with a consultant can be an incredibly beneficial decision in the grand scheme of the entire process.

Legal Fees – Attorney and Court Costs

No matter what adoption adventure your family chooses, you’ll need to work with an adoption attorney at some point, usually when you’re getting closer to your finalization date. An adoption attorney has special experience and knowledge of state-specific or country-specific adoption laws and regulations. They’ll be your advocate within the court system, making sure that all your bases are covered in bringing your child home, through the big day in court when you finally get to celebrate your new family with a judge making things very official. 

They’ll also help you navigate through any complex scenarios that are unique to your specific adoption situation, especially with questions around termination of the biological parents’ rights or if your adoption involves Native American children where the Indian Child Welfare Act might apply.

Like any legal professional, you’ll be paying your adoption attorney for their time, both in working with the local court system, and any research and preparation time outside of court that might be needed for your individual case. There are also court costs associated with filing different required paperwork, most of which is rolled up into the one fee that you’ll be paying to your adoption attorney. 

While adoption agencies can often recommend an adoption attorney they’ve worked with before, the fee you’ll be paying will be completely separate from any agency fees. We usually suggest that families budget between $5,000 and $10,000 for overall legal fees (especially if you’re adopting multiple children at the same time, or entering into a potentially legally risky adoption scenario, such as a contested adoption with biological parents challenging the adoption process).

Another option that some families opt for is working directly with an attorney specializing in adoption for their entire adoption process, skipping the step of working through an agency. A family will still have to have a finalized home study, which can be completed by an independent social worker who focuses on providing home study services. Birth moms will often contact adoption attorneys looking to make an adoption plan, and the attorney will then work to match that birth mom to a potential adoptive family. This can often offer more control over the matching process, but as an attorney will be more heavily involved than they would be in an agency-initiated adoption, you can expect that legal services provided by your attorney will take up more of your overall budget.

Medical Expenses for the Child and/or Birth Mom

Depending on how your private agency or adoption attorney operates, you may be asked to help pay towards medical expenses for both the baby you’re adopting and/or his/her birth mom. This amount can obviously vary widely depending on each unique situation, and at what point in a birth mom’s pregnancy that you end up being matched with her. Some agencies include this birth mom care in their overall agency fees and cap expenses at a certain amount, while others treat this completely differently than agency fees. 

More and more Christian adoption agencies are seeing an immense opportunity to minister to both birth parents and adoptive parents in the big life changes they’re walking through by building relationships, providing ongoing support, and connections to community resources, with an eye towards opportunities to share the hope of the Gospel at any time!

Travel

Even though you’ve chosen to adopt within the U.S., there could still be some significant travel associated with your adoption process. Let us introduce you to ICPC – the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children.

It’s understandable that you’d need to travel to the state where the child you’ve been matched with is being born, but in many cases, at least one adopting parent will be required to remain in that “sending” state with your child until you are given clearance to return with your child to your “receiving” (home) state.

ICPC is designed to protect the best interests of the child being placed, but it can be challenging to understand though due to its timing. The countdown for ICPC clearance begins after a child is born, when birth parents have passed their revocation period, and the baby is discharged from the hospital to the caregivers (in many cases, you as the adoptive family). Once all of those milestones have been met, your caseworker will begin the paperwork process between the two states in question, which must be completed by both before moving the child across state lines. Since laws around birth parent rights/revocation periods can vary greatly from state to state, and your time in the hospital could vary depending on the medical status of your child, the start of ICPC could be delayed a bit. Depending on the size of your existing family, this is something to consider in terms of food and lodging during this waiting period.

International Agency Adoption

But what if God is calling your family to international adoption? Sweet! There’s a way to afford that too!

The good news? Many of the same things we’ve talked about in domestic adoption will apply in an international adoption. The challenging news? There are even a few more things you’ll need to have on your radar.

Home study (yep, it’s here again!)

In an international adoption, your family will still need a completed and active home study. Don’t forget that home studies are generally valid for a year at a time, so if you’re in a longer waiting period because of the procedures required by another country, you’ll need to factor in a home study renewal (or two or more) in the process.

Agency fees (heard that before, haven’t you?)

You’ll also need to account for agency fees, just like in many domestic adoption scenarios. Some larger adoption agencies have social workers who are experts in certain world regions, or even specific countries, who can help you navigate the unique requirements in front of you.

Travel logistics become even more important

Travel will certainly be a factor as well, except in the case of international adoption, you’re often looking at much more travel than you would be in a domestic adoption. In fact, some countries require multiple visits to the country for various amounts of time before they will approve a family to move forward. Factors like local transportation, lodging, food, translators, and more can significantly alter your travel budget as well. (Our friends at Adoption Airfare know this can be a big challenge for families and work really hard to find the right flight arrangements for adoptive families at the best possible prices.)

Other unique adoption paperwork required in-country

In addition to your home study, you’ll often need to prepare (with the help of your agency) a dossier, including things like birth certificates, marriage certificates, medical reports, police clearances, etc. to present to officials in the country that you’re adopting from. You could be looking at additional costs if you need to order replacement copies of these important documents.

Paying for your child’s visa, immigration processing, medical exams required for travel and adoption, possibly re-entry permits or related documentation are more items that can be required depending on the country in question. The costs for these can vary widely, so your agency and social worker would be the best source for additional information.

Again depending on the country you’re adopting from and their requirements, you might be required to pay for document translation services. This can vary by translation provider, as some charge by the word (usually around $0.10/word), while others charge by the page (usually between $20 and $25/page), and at different rates for their turnaround time, with some services offering 24-hour turnaround windows.

Re-adoption in the U.S.

Yes, you read that correctly. In some international adoption scenarios, you may not be completely finished once you come home with your child. Depending on a number of factors (like where you adopt from) it may be necessary to go through a process called re-adoption, which essentially means going through a U.S. state court process after the child is in the U.S. so that the adoption is recognized under local/state law. This can help with issuance of birth certificates, name changes, fulfilling certain state or immigration legal requirements, etc. Total cost might come in around $1,500-$3,000 depending on your attorney’s rates and local state fees.

Not every international adoption situation will require a re-adoption process, but it would be good to confirm the details of your situation with your social worker and/or adoption attorney.

Post-Adoption Costs

You’ve finally crossed the big finish line and you are headed home with your child. Oh happy day! You can put away your adoption paperwork and just sit back and relax now that everything’s squared away, right? Well, maybe not so fast. 

Depending on how much information is available/disclosed from birth parents in a domestic adoption or from an orphanage in an international adoption, you may already know of any needs your child may have. In other cases, these needs may not be known right away, and may present themselves later on, even when your child is much older.

Since every case is so unique, it’s very difficult to put a dollar amount on what to plan for with post-adoption costs, but there are a few categories that your child might need, including…

• Wide-ranging medical needs
• Therapy recommendations, like physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and feeding therapy, along with trauma-informed counseling and attachment style support for both your child and other members of the family
• Educational and developmental resources, like tutoring, language learning, assistive devices, and more.

Since we can only rely on the information given to us as adoptive parents, we often have to enter the post-adoption phase with our hands open to whatever comes next, trusting that God is already in it and will provide for your family through it. He never fails, and He’s not about to start by leaving your family in the lurch.

Both Hands has started post-adoption projects, which can help adoptive families raise the funds they need for medical, therapeutic and mental health treatments that are crucial for their child’s well-being after finalization, all while helping a widow in their community.

Counting the Emotional Cost

We’ve spent a lot of time focusing on the financial pieces of the adoption process–the things you can assign a number to and literally count the cost of. But what about the intangibles? You know, the things that you don’t fully understand until you’re in the middle of it–the emotional costs that can make you feel all the feelings, often all at once.

Now don’t read what I didn’t say. Adoption is the most amazing process that will give you a special glimpse into the love of the Father for all of His kids. It will change you. It will stretch you. And you will see the goodness and greatness of God on full display. There is NOTHING like it.

But you will feel your feelings. I’ve felt quite a few of them myself, and I think it’s important to know some things that could come across your emotional radar. If we know what might be ahead of us, we can work to prepare our hearts before walking through them. 

Possible disrupted matches and loss of funds

As you begin the adoption process, it’s important to know that it’s often a very fluid situation, filled with a lot of unknowns until you actually reach finalization. There can be many factors as to why a match is disrupted, from a birth parent changing their mind and choosing to parent (sometimes, even after the paperwork is signed–the timing varies by state, but it’s a very real, still very legal possibility in domestic adoptions) to a country shutting down its entire adoption program, like has recently happened in China and Ukraine.

And when that adoption is disrupted, it can hurt. A lot. It happened to us between Thanksgiving and Christmas a few years ago, a time when our feelings were already on high alert anyway. One exercise that our agency had us walk through early on in our home study process was to make what they called a “grief plan” while we were still level-headed and not in the midst of our emotions flying all around us. This grief plan was a worksheet that we filled out with the specific people we would call if things went south. 

We would name particular people who we could just cry to and be sad with, others who we knew would be so good at encouraging us to keep going, and others who we could count on to just sit and be with us without us having to explain everything. This exercise was beneficial for us as it helped us remember the community that God had placed around us for such a season as this. When that match did fail, we did talk to those people, and God used them to speak life into our discouraged hearts again to keep going.

These scenarios are not only emotionally challenging, but can also have financial implications, too, depending on how your agency is set up. In some cases when a match is disrupted, families could lose a substantial amount of the funds they had already raised for their adoption due to no fault of their own. Other agencies have policies where you might lose a partial amount of the funds you’ve raised (because of the work that has already been done towards that first attempted adoption), but where a large amount of your saved funds can be transferred to the next adoption. It’s an important conversation to have, especially early on, so you’re well-informed about all the policies of your particular agency.

Navigating scenarios that were not known or disclosed before adoption

My wife and I are both pretty organized people. We love a good calendar, we love a good list and a good process, and we can organize the heck out of a spreadsheet. This (some would say quirky, we would say beneficial) character trait served us well during our home study process when we had to keep a lot of paperwork moving and organized. (You can just guess how cool we were in school, right?)

One of the hardest parts of our adoption journey, though, was in navigating the unknown–the things that weren’t on our list of things to expect; the things we had absolutely zero control over. While our agency did the very best they could to share as much information as they could (and our birth mom did the same, to the best of her knowledge) ahead of time, there have been more curveballs thrown our way throughout our adoption process than we ever thought possible. New diagnoses, new red tape to work through, new people to talk to, new specialists to see, longer timelines to get to finalization. All not on our initial adoption bingo card. And for planners like us, well, that was a lot to handle emotionally.

Don’t get me wrong–it’s all well and good to gather information before making decisions. There can be wisdom in that, and I would encourage you to ask every single question you can think of to your social worker about the process. You can save yourself a lot of heartache by having a good plan in place. 

But having great plans can also be terrible substitutes for trusting in the God who was, is, and is to come. The God who holds all things together and is never surprised by anything. The God who knows every single detail about the little one coming into your family, and loves him or her more than we will ever be able to comprehend.

He’s worthy of our trust. Every ounce of it. He can be trusted with your unknowns because to Him, they’re already known. Corrie ten Boom reminds us that we should never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known, and very good, and faithful, and trustworthy God.

Possibly challenging and changing relationships with birth parents

If you’re pursuing a domestic adoption, and depending on how your agency or attorney operates when it comes to open adoptions, there’s a chance you could have an ongoing relationship with your child’s birth parents. This idea could be an exciting one for you and your family, or one that brings up more questions and concerns for you. That’s understandable. It’s a very unique relationship you’re entering into, one filled with a lot of those darn feelings again. 

While the day you meet your little one is a day filled with joy for you, it’s also a day filled with a lot of loss and grief for birthmoms, even if they have settled in their hearts that making the adoption plan with you is the best choice, and one filled with a lot of love for her child. Some birth moms will be eager to continue a relationship with your family in the future, while others will need some space and time to process what has happened and what their future looks like.

You’re connected for life because of the sweet little one who now gets to live with you, and if they’re willing, it could be an incredible, Christ-honoring relationship with birthparents that lets them see the Gospel lived out in very real ways.

It’s normal to feel unsure about what your relationship with birthparents will look like, and it’s a relationship that can ebb and flow over time, with some seasons where you might feel very close to birthparents and other seasons where it feels like radio silence. This can be challenging, especially as your child grows up and starts to have questions about their birth family. It’s your chance to show grace upon grace and trust that God can use that relationship for your child’s good and for His glory.

Your own emotional bandwidth

When parenting a child who has experienced trauma or has specialized medical needs, your own emotional bandwidth becomes one of the most critical resources in your home. Children healing from loss, neglect, or medical challenges often require extraordinary levels of patience, empathy, and consistency. That kind of care can’t be poured from an empty cup. It’s essential for adoptive parents to be aware of their own emotional limits, seek support, and prioritize rest and connection so they can remain grounded and responsive. (I know, I know. Easier said than done, right? I’m still working on that.) But nurturing your own well-being doesn’t take away from your child’s needs—it strengthens your ability to meet them with compassion and stability, day after day.

But It’s So Worth It

Adoption is one of the clearest pictures we have on earth of God’s redeeming love—bringing beauty from brokenness and calling each of us His own. It’s not an easy road, but it is holy ground. Every step of the journey—every form, every waiting room, every sleepless night wondering if you’re enough—is covered by the God who called you to this in the first place. He is not only writing your child’s story, but yours too. And He never calls without also providing. 

His provision may come through unexpected generosity, creative fundraising, or a quiet peace that steadies your anxious heart—but it will come. Because that’s who He is.

If you’ve felt that unmistakable tug in your spirit to adopt, take heart. You don’t have to have all the answers before you take the next step. The same God who placed this desire within you will give you the strength, wisdom, and community you need to see it through. His love is big enough for every uncertainty and strong enough to carry both you and your child through every challenge ahead.

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If you’re interested in learning more about how Christian families are raising $23,000 on average for their adoptions through Both Hands, check out our adoption fundraising page and our trusted partners page that includes additional fundraising resources, grants, and interest-free loans.

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About the author: Andy Whisenant gets to be part of the incredible Both Hands team as a marketing manager. (Seriously, the team is filled with such amazing, supportive, and encouraging people who were on the frontlines with us during the whole adoption journey. Find you a village like that and you’ll be doing just fine!). Andy and his wife, Jennifer, are the proud parents of their son Grayson, the happiest second grader you’ll ever meet, and daughter, Maya, the most incredible toddler who joined the family through the miracle of adoption.